But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
