then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
