Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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