Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
