Whod you bang
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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