Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
