OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize