paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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