I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I would fuck him just for his dog
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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