I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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