i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
