True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cut my penus on the lid.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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