she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
