I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
