I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
