Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.