so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.