I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella