Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.