Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper