Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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(513): View more from Ohio

both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was

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25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Read it at the TFLN blog
(316): View more from Kansas

Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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(314): View more from Missouri

If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.

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(614): View more from Ohio

We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.

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