"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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