I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
