It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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