allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
