I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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