After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize