We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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