I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
