Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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