There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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