Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
