good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
