Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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