I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
