If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
