Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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