Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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