I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
