his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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