And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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