Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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