No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
