Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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