I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize