haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
