I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
