he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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