The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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