Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
honey bunches of taint.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
