Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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