i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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