do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
