i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize