Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
