The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
