All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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