Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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