Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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