the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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